Mother Blogger, a Lily white woman, tests Luminess Tan, the first at-home personal airbrush tanning system designed to deliver salon-quality professional results.
The last time Mother Blogger had a spray tan, she spent the week in Florida on the beach looking like a rabid orange-spotted leopard. Shunned by friends and ocean life, she said in a Southern drawl with the same ferocity and passion as Scarlett O'Hara in Gone with the Wind, "As God is my witness they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be spotty again. No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I'll never use a spray tan on my Lily white body again!"
She lied and is probably destined to hell.
In prep for a girlfriend trip to the beach, Mother Blogger succumbed to a courtesy spray so that she wouldn't blind her girlfriends with her eye-piercing white skin. She's so white, you can even hear the white!
Not trusting her sharp-shooting skills, Mother Blogger called in her daughter, The Working Girl, to assist in the air brushing process.
With her body already exfoliated and smoother than a insert your analogy here, Mother Blogger plopped down on the uncomfortable Adirondack chair and waited for her daughter to arrive. To occupy her always racing mind, she read the literature:
"The airbrush system is comparable to those used in high end tanning salons & spas. Please don’t confuse airbrush tanning to misting booths, which are extremely messy. The second component of Luminess Tan™ is our highly innovative tanning solution. The formulation features both an instant bronzer for immediate color and tanning actives designed to physically darken skin. Our formulation features dihydroxyacetone (DHA) The FDA approved the active ingredients. Odorless.
"Directions: Attach airbrush stylist pen to tanning solution bottle.
"Using the stylus pen and pressing airbrush button, spot tan legs, arms, shoulders, and chest for an all over glow in about 30 minutes -- 25 minutes to apply and 5 minutes to dry."
+ Luminess Tan system is very easy to use. Since Mother Blogger or The Working Girl have not tried this on their own, they can't say how easy it would be to apply by yourself.
+ Unlike many self-tanners, Luminess Tan system was odorless.
-/+ Probably the fault of the quick exfoliation performed by Mother Blogger, a few Jackson Pollock splotches were found on her legs, but after exfoliating and spraying again, all was well.
+ The instructions that are contained in the box are concise and easy to follow.
+ At a price point of $129, Luminess Tan is a budget-friendly way to achieve a salon-quality tan.
Questions to ponder:
Will Mother Blogger use Luminess Tan again?
Will she stop talking in a fake Southern drawl? So annoying.
Will she stop stalking her daughter, The Working Girl, at work?
Yes, yes, no.
Availability: www.luminessair.com $129
It's Manic Monday? Guess what we are giving away today? Stay tuned.