I know most of my beauty and fashion blogger colleagues are chatting up Black Friday this morning, but I have a more important issue at hand. I have been having a bad hair day -- year! My double cowlicks have been battling for territorial rights. Working with my stylist yesterday, I thought we might have conquered the dreaded enemy, but to my dismay, upon arriving home and arming myself with my big hand mirror, I gasped in horror when I saw the back of my head.
There was hair spiraling like a tropical cyclone on the top left and hair coiling like a snake in a basket who had been hypnotized by a snake charmer on the top right and down the back of my head, a straight part that halved the right hemisphere and the left hemisphere of my brain.
On top of that, there was an Alfalfa cowlick sticking up like the middle finger on a hand giving the world the bird.
And it didn't take much coiling for me to see my Buster Brown bangs carved on the front of my forehead either!
Did I say I have been having a bad hair year?
On top of this, I discovered that gravity -- Hasn't the wicked witch of menopause already exerted enough gravitational pull on my body? -- is playing a dirty trick with my hair.
One of my cowlicks is a bit lower down the back of the head; hence, the hair that wants to grow and lie forward toward the front of the head has to fight against gravity. Because it's fighting gravity, it's not lying the way it wants to. When hair doesn't lie the way it wants to, it will stick up. Hence, my middle finger, Alfalfa look.
I'm trying to be grateful that I HAVE hair, knowing that gratitude is the key to peace and happiness, but c'mon, I now have Buster Brown bangs and double Alfalfa cowlicks for Christmas. And all I wanted was my two front teeth -- veneers.
Ah, but knowledge is power, and I'm going to kick my cowlicks' butt with knowledge.
- Plastic surgery.
- Electrolysis and waxing.
- Corrective hair styling.
- Use of styling aides. Pomades and hair creams with good hold applied to the root area around the cowlick help redirect the cowlick. Been there, done that. My double cowlicks have a life of their own.
- The right hairstyle.
In my particular case, my best option seems to be the right hairstyle. And time -- time and patience.
The hair that sits directly between my two cowlicks stands up if the hair is cut too short. The double cowlicks create a hair grain clash like adult siblings during the holidays. The closer the two cowlicks are to each other, the more the hair between them will want to stick up.
Note to stylist: Leave the hair a bit longer in this area so that the hair has enough length to bend over and lie in place peacefully with the other hairs around it.
By next year, I should have the Alfalfa cowlicks and Buster Brown bangs licked. All it takes is time...and patience.
Now that I have interrupted Black Friday's agenda with cowlick issues, we will return to steals and deals for Black Friday.
*Alfalfa from the famous Our Gang hit comedy series of the 1930s and 1940s was famous for his cowlick. Usually Alfalfa had one persistent cowlick that would stick straight up at the back of his crown.
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