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7 Gifts for the 7 Dwarfs of Menopause

Posted on Nov 30, 2007 at 6:40AM

seven dwarfs

I am sure you have run into at least one of the seven dwarfs of menopause: Sweaty, Bloated, Itchy, Bitchy, Forgetful, Sleepy, and All Dried Up. The following list should help you match seven gifts with seven moods and find the menopause dwarf's inner beauty.

  1. Sweaty: Night Sweats Sleepware will keep Sweaty cool when she has haute flashes.
  2. Bloated: Her Puffiness can disguise her bloat with sweatpants from Nordstom.
  3. Itchy: A 100 percent organic cotton tee from Pristine Planet would soothe Itchy's skin.
  4. Bitchy: An Effexor prescription or a little stud -- diamond that is -- from Blue Nile might temper Bitchy's mood.
  5. Forgetful: Uh, what was I writing about? Oh, yes, Do Not Forget door hangers from Uncommon Goods is a to-do list for Forgetful's brain. (See Forgetfulness is a Tool of the Brain for those concerned about their memory loss.)
  6. Sleepy: Agourmet coffee gift basket filled with selections of coffees from Starbucks, Ghirardelli, Godiva, Wolfgang Puck, and Coffee Masters should motivate Sleepy from the arms of Morpheus and give her a needed dose of caffeine.
  7. All Dried Up: Olive and Basil Body Butter from Crabtree and Evelyn will baste All Dried Up's parched skin.

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